Struggling with Self-Doubt? Try This Model to Go Through Life with Self-Confidence
Confidence isn’t a genetic edge but something that you can build. Here’s how:
Being confident is all about believing in yourself, and your abilities to create whatever you put yourself up to.
Building confidence is a process, not a one-shot achievement, it requires effort. So, it’s all about cultivating the right mindset, being aware of your emotions & thoughts to direct them in the right way, and making certain changes in your physical state to tap into the power that lies within everyone’s reach.
I am no theorist or philosopher. This is the simple model of building confidence that I use for myself. The Self-Confidence model revolves around three elements: MIND, EMOTION & BODY.
Let’s break it down together:
PHYSIOLOGY (Body)
What is it that you can’t ignore about someone confident within your circle? Their body language, posture, eye contact, and overall state of presence. All of these are not only indications of one’s confidence level but also the tools you can use to become confident.
Modify Your Body Language -
We all can pretty much identify a confident person without him saying a word just by his body language. Do a scan of your body language, see how you feel about your looks, how you shake your hand (this might not be a useful metric since it’s been pandemic since what it feels like forever), and how you carry yourself around people?
Dressing nicely makes you feel good about yourself which in turn reflects in your self-confidence. You don’t have to wear branded designer clothes to feel that way. Any clean and decent clothing is enough. Clothes don’t radiate confidence, it’s you and how you carry yourself around. Move your body with a tall, standing posture, avoid slouchy shoulders, head, and the hopes of avoiding eye contact.
Change Your Physical State -
Whenever you want to instantly boost your confidence, try out a power posture like the warrior pose, with wide shoulders, hands on the hips, feet shoulder length apart, facing the world. Give yourself a high five in the mirror before heading straight into that meeting, interview, or presentation that you want to display your confidence in.
Maintain Eye Contact -
We all are aware of the fact that maintaining healthy eye contact gives the impression that you are fully present at the moment with mental awareness which reflects your confidence. Of course, have decent eye contact that does not make the next person uncomfortable.
EMOTIONS
Emotions are the power source of human actions. They determine the quality of our life and sure need attention in our pursuit of building confidence.
Positivity over Negativity -
Positive thinking is the key shift. Instead of focusing on what’s lacking, shift your focus towards what you already like about yourself. Negativity leads to more negativity. Substitute your negative thinking and feelings with a positive one. Get intentional about what emotions you frequently indulge in, and practice letting go of the painful experiences. Remember not all negative emotions are bad but the ones that don’t serve you.
Practice Gratitude -
One of the ways to feel confident is by being content with yourself and your life. Being grateful for what you have, gives a sense of calmness that makes you appreciate right where you are, so you move with confidence in the direction of your goal. Be thankful for your body, fresh air, the little things around you, and feel what a great gift it is to be alive.
Embrace Fear & Uncomfortableness -
Growth lies outside of your comfort zone. The more you become comfortable dealing with the uncomfortable, the more you build confidence. Facing your fear removes the doubt of failure and makes you break out of your old thought patterns of playing safe, it also opens the gate to new opportunities.
MINDSET
I firmly believe confidence is an inside game. You can have a millionaire status, designer clothes, and a successful personal life but if you are running the show on a negative belief system, you are vulnerable to shitty life events. This is the most challenging out of the three components of the confidence-building framework.
Eliminate Limiting Beliefs -
Deep-seated limiting beliefs can break us, if not identified and replaced with empowering ones. The development of most limiting beliefs begins in childhood, as we try to conform to others’ opinions, fit in, and shut the door to our true nature. This process even continues throughout our lives unless we take control back. Re-write your story on your terms.
Focus on Your Focus -
You focus on what you give importance to, either intentionally or unintentionally. Adjust your focus on what matters most. Question yourself about what you value about life, career, relations, and shift your focus on your answer to this question. Remember “what you focus on, you create more of”, says Tony Robbins.
Practice Success Visualization -
Another tool to improve your confidence game is to use your visualization to your advantage. Rather than thinking about what could go wrong, think of the ways a situation will turn out to be the best. Visualize yourself before that meeting to ace at it, making an incredible impression, or getting the job after your thrilling interview. Focus on the positive outcome.
Inhabit Positive Self Talk -
Who wouldn’t agree that the most talking you do happens inside the head, 24/7? Words impact us as they create emotions, and emotions either uplift or discourage. Work on turning your negative self-talk into a positive one. Because the story you repeat to yourself, eventually becomes your reality.
Seek Curiosity -
Growth brings confidence with it. Embrace the lifelong journey of learning, cause learning never stops. Being curious and asking questions leads to knowledge. Knowledge fetches confidence.
By working on your physiology, emotions, and mindset you can not only become confident but also set yourself up to achieve fulfillment in all areas of your life.
Confidence isn’t Fix-My-Life Formula
While being confident gives you an edge in every aspect of your life be it leadership, work, personal life, know that it isn’t the solution to all of your problems. It’s not like you become confident and success is guaranteed. While it’s likely, you would still face doubts and uncertainty in your life and it’s completely normal — the key is to not let any of these define your life.
Confidence is the trust that you have in yourself to figure out a way whenever you feel stuck.
Anyone can become confident. And the more you transform your life in the above-mentioned areas the more you would develop respect for yourself A.K.A self-esteem.
